I will not FAP again until the Bobcats win 2 consecutive road games

[TheTossedSaladMan]

Hello, I am TheTossedSaladMan.

I've been a lurker here since the days of Sam Vincent, but I'm finally going to come out of hiding to make my first post. Like the title of this thread says I am going to abstain from fapping until the Bobcats win 2 straight road games. I'm afraid that going out on a limb like this and risking the tranquility of my beloved testicles may backfire, but I'm willing to take that risk hoping that somehow putting my balls on the line like this causes us to improve our stupidly dumb road play.
Who else in this joint is man enough to put their fapping privelages on the line until we get 2 straight road wins? Anybody?

[teej]

Oh. Dear. Lord.

I thought I'd seen everything...

[WarioVsMooChicken]

You're a brave man

[SWedd523]

You sir, have my utmost respect.

[Marvel]

Who needs fapping when you got women

[French_Cats]

The Bobcats will make us mad

[ziggy]

Who else in this joint is man enough to put their fapping privelages on the line until we get 2 straight road wins? Anybody?

http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w301/bobcatsplanet/backup.gif

[Scottley Crue]

You may want to crawl before you walk here...seems like one in a row would be cause enough for celebration (and a little more likely).

[teej]

You may want to crawl before you walk here...seems like one in a row would be cause enough for celebration (and a little more likely).

Maybe if we could get the team to do this it wouldn't.

[BETCATS]

Have fun not masterbating until the end of the season.

[TheTossedSaladMan]

Day One: I've been a little bit jumpy today but so far no chest pains, dizziness or shit like that. We got to beat Miami tomorrow so that I can get the first of these 2 consecutive road wins out of the way.

[Ghost Kat]

My eyes are wet with the tears of laughter....Please continue

:airquote: Fapping? Thats what you folk call it?

[LiquidWayno]

Dear God, I must go watch the Seinfeld Episode "The Contest" now - at least those guys could win some money -

TossedSaladMan, you are gonna be carrying a loaded gun like Gilbert Arenas. Too soon?

[Toocool]

ROFL. Get a life. Period.
You make it seem like you can't live without fapping.
Fail moar.:facepalm:

[Chef]

we should load this board with nice pictures to really tempt some "flapping". tastefully done, but all nude.

[Marvel]

we should load this board with nice pictures to really tempt some "flapping". tastefully done, but all nude.

.....agreed

[Woodsy23]

well something must be working....;)

[French_Cats]

beat cavs tomorrow

[TheTossedSaladMan]

Day Two: The jumpiness from day one is still around, and this afternoon I had a really strange tingling in my feet. I wonder if lack of "release" can cause diabetes? Thank heavens the Bobcats got a road win tonight, I am one road win against the Cavs away from getting my pipes cleaned.

[bing!]

I wonder if lack of "release" can cause diabetes?

Yes, indeed.

[Chef]

it all seriousness less "releasing" is related to a higher risk of prostate cancer.

[x2pacalypse]

ooofff you're bonkers to take this kind of risk

[Chef]

here's what's gross. if the bobs win, we all know what the tossed salad man will be doing as stephanie is interviewing crash immediately following the game.

[Ghost Kat]

here's what's gross. if the bobs win, we all know what the tossed salad man will be doing as stephanie is interviewing crash immediately following the game.

Every Stephanie Ready sighting is good enough reason for a little " Me " time

[ziggy]

here's what's gross. if the bobs win, we all know what the tossed salad man will be doing as stephanie is interviewing crash immediately following the game.

http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w301/bobcatsplanet/2llka6v.gif

[superb1]

here's what's gross. if the bobs win, we all know what the tossed salad man will be doing as stephanie is interviewing crash immediately following the game.

But who will be the object of his "affections"

[SirBobcat]

One more quarter and he can go back to Fapping!

[cls77]

Double or nothing for three in a row? :biggrin:

[SirBobcat]

It's fapping time! Board wide fapping! Let's go! Pictures need to be posted!

[ohara831]

Fap on till you cant fap no more! Hey wait. We won these 2 after you made the announcement. Maybe you should wait until we lose a road game before you fap again! We might not lose a road game again! Come on (no pun intended), take one for the team!

[superb1]

yesterday's phrase; Ham Biscuit
present phrase; I.L.B.I.T.
tomorrow's phrase; IT'S FAPPING TIME

[SWedd523]

I don't fucking believe it :facepalm:

[TheTossedSaladMan]

I would like to thank:

Larry Brown
Gerald Wallace
Stephen Jackson
Gana Diop
LeBron James for missing that final shot
The fine people here at BobcatsPlanet for you cheers and support during this epic journey.


Now gentlemen, I must be going. I have very important business of a dire nature that must be attended to.

[Muttley]

Fap on till you cant fap no more! Hey wait. We won these 2 after you made the announcement. Maybe you should wait until we lose a road game before you fap again! We might not lose a road game again! Come on (no pun intended), take one for the team!

I'm with this.

Hand off, TossedSaladMan!

[CatNation]

op:
http://f.imagehost.org/0941/RandyMarshJizz.jpg

[ziggy]

http://image.spreadshirt.com/image-server/image/product/15762461/view/1/type/png/width/280/height/280

[SirBobcat]

Bobcatsplanet Commandment: Ye must fap before any road game.

[ohara831]

Bobcatsplanet Commandment: Ye must fap before any road game.


No! No fapping before a road game. Not fapping is what won us the last two games. He must abstain from fapping. You must fap for him. It is your duty.

[spectre]

Tears are literally pouring down my face right now this is so freaking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I'd have made this bet we wouldn't have ever won 2 in a row on the road again.

[BETCATS]

Tossed Salad Man, this is for you:
http://lamar.colostate.edu/~hillger/products/lotion.jpg


You earned it. Make sure to find some Natasha pics. If you want to do the deed, do it the right way.

[rsxnova]

Ok, so this thread has to make it to some kind of hall of fame. I bet the onion would have a hayday with this.

[playoffs...PLAYOFFS?]

Is there a connection between TossedSalad's initial post and Jax's post game comments?

"I make love to pressure," Jackson said, after making both free throws with two seconds left to secure a 91-88 road victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers.

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/bobcats/story/1158635.html

[SWedd523]

I'm surprised nobody has commented on his username yet:


Tossed Salad Man:
The person who gets his ass eaten out with jelly or syrup by a new prison inmate. Tossed Salad Man: I prefer syrup!

[ND22]

I cannot believe what has happened here. Wow.

[x2pacalypse]

TossedSaladMan: a PROphet amongST All of bobcaTs planEt

[kickazzz2000]

Tossed Salad Man, you are an instant board legend. You are the antiballwhore.

Kudos.

[TheBeagle]

Ok, so this thread has to make it to some kind of hall of fame. I bet the onion would have a hayday with this. Right on! This definitely has the makings of the thread of the year (don't see what can top it anyway).

I was a little disturbed by his screen name when I first saw the post, and I was concerned for his well-being after seeing his declaration, but I'll be damned if it didn't net us two unprobable wins!!!

Now fap away, fap away, fap away all.......until the next road trip of course when it'll be time for TSM's testes to work their magic ;)

[Alex]

http://cihq.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/scarlett_johansson.jpg


Just wanted to help.

[Dcarnys]

Oh god this is when I wish I could get to a computer for the past week.

[Muttley]

BobcatsPlanet.com: Fap the right way.

Defend every fap.
Rebound the ball.
Fap harder than your opponent.
Respect the fap.

[spectre]

As for my New Year’s resolution – mine is the same one I ask for every year. I just want my family and me to stay healthy this year. I know you might be asking, “Why not resolve to get a road win (that the Bobcats haven’t had since November 28?” But trust me, that’s going to take care of itself… real soon.

If the Salad man is really Crash that would explain a lot.

Seriously...interesting that he felt that way and then we proceed to beat both Miami & Cleveland away.

[Chef]

16 (22) Bobcats 14-18 A breakthrough in Miami, then an absolute stunner in Cleveland. Larry Brown's Bobs just tripled their total of road wins in the span of a weekend and are going to make their first trip to the playoffs if this keeps up.

I can't help but to think that if Stein knew about this thread he would have jumped us to 14 or 15. It should read:

16 (22) Bobcats 14-18 A breakthrough in Miami, then an absolute stunner in Cleveland. Larry Brown's Bobs just tripled their total of road wins in the span of a weekend not to mention averting a completely grumpy Tossed Salad Man by giving him unlimited fapping privileges and are going to make their first trip to the playoffs if this keeps up.

[ALong13]

lol damn I almost died laughing as i read every post in this thread, this is an instant classic thread and should be delivered to the HOF immediately...wow that was funny

[ziggy]

This thread is OFFICIALLY in the Hall of Fame!

[Ghost Kat]

Not since the Maury Povich show has not busting a nutt brought so much good luck.

Toss Salad Man, Tonight your wash cloth say's
http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o179/bucktown1999/Maury.gif