3 hours ago, I had the worst experience of my life

[ziggy]

http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w301/bobcatsplanet/mbcn691l.jpg

Those of you who have hit the magical age of 40 are probably also familiar with this "procedure". It was embarrassing, humiliating and painful all at the same time....

Someone please talk me off this ledge of despair.

[Dunk]

I had prostatis a couple years ago and had to have it done a couple of times, once by the female PA. :hypo: After the first one it's not that bad. At least you didn't have a hydroscopy and whatever else they did. That where they go in through the front end with a camera and water jet. Take a Bic pen and put in down your pee-hole while you're awake. Yeah, not good times. Very, very bad times.

See, not so bad. :)

[ziggy]

At least you didn't have a hydroscopy and whatever else they did. That where they go in through the front end with a camera and water jet. Take a Bic pen and put in down your pee-hole while you're awake.
Good Lord! At least tell me that they gave you heavy drugs before they did that.

[ohara831]

Been through that process myself. Man, I saw them swing that big SCOPE that looks as big around as a dang overgrown zucchinni, and my knees buckled. When something like that goes in the out door, it ain't a good feeling! Haven't had to have another in at least 3 years - Thank God! And the most embarrassing thing is when the doctor has a pretty female assistant back there with him while he's "prepping" you with the KY and then ramming that thing inside. Oh, the humiliation! I still feel it.

[spectre]

Since this appears to be the "over 40" thread I guess I should chime in. Obviously I've had to go thru what Zig brought up (not Dunk...ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod) a couple of years ago. My doc at the time was this pretty young blonde thing...and this is the important part...she had VERY slim hands/fingers. In this instance size does matter, only the reverse.

I worried a little about letting a woman doing it, but then I thought of some big hairy dumb looking guy sticking his finger up my arse and decided to hell with being embarrased...when in doubt always go for the hot chick. You'll seldom be disappointed.

[ziggy]

Theres something incredibly wrong on an instinctual level when as a man you hear the words "Bend over and try to relax" from another man.
My instincts were screaming for me to gouge him in the eye and run my naked ass out of the doctor's office.... But instead I stayed there and was violated.

Is it possible to get Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from a prostate exam???

[Dunk]

Good Lord! At least tell me that they gave you heavy drugs before they did that.

They gave Valium but that didn't help. What they do for the pain is they take an injector -- it looks just like the pin you would inflate a basketball or football with -- and they put it stone cold down your urethra and then squirt some goo in it to numb the passage of the big one that's coming. So she's pushing it down and I'm hold the side of the bed, going "Aaaaaahhh!!! Jesus! Aaaaaggghh!! Godammit!" So she gets it in, does her thing and tells me, "My husband had this done and he didn't make this much noise! My goodness!" I wanted to slap her stupid redneck mouth.

Bottom line was that I was carrying on so much that had to schedule an appointment to knock me out and do it.

[TheBeagle]

They gave Valium but that didn't help. What they do for the pain is they take an injector -- it looks just like the pin you would inflate a basketball or football with -- and they put it stone cold down your urethra and then squirt some goo in it to numb the passage of the big one that's coming. So she's pushing it down and I'm hold the side of the bed, going "Aaaaaahhh!!! Jesus! Aaaaaggghh!! Godammit!" So she gets it in, does her thing and tells me, "My husband had this done and he didn't make this much noise! My goodness!" I wanted to slap her stupid redneck mouth.

Bottom line was that I was carrying on so much that had to schedule an appointment to knock me out and do it.
That whole procedure is effed-up on so many levels: the procedure itself; the archaic pain-relief and sedative; the bitch of a nurse.

I have colitis, so I've had multiple flexible sigmoidoscopys, fingers in the anus, and one colonscopy since I was 19. All were/are awkward and painful, but the colonscopy was something else. I have a high tolerance for medicine and a low tolerance for that kinda pain, which is a terrible combo. They didn't give me enough sedative early and I felt them stick the scope up there, and I was, in a semi-lucid, semi-stupor, yelling everyone manner of profanity possible. What I vividly remember saying are these exact words: "That hurts like hell, man. Take it out. No, I'm serious, take that mother*$@#ing sonofabitch out of my a$$hole now!" Then I heard the doc telling one of the female assistants, "Okay. Give him all we have," and then I woke up in the recovery room.

Not being 40, I haven't had the prostate exam yet, but I'm not looking forward to it. God gave us assholes to purge waste, not stick objects in it; that's all there is to it. The fact that you have to lube something up to coerce it to go in proves my point.

[dav7z]

I had prostatis a couple years ago and had to have it done a couple of times, once by the female PA. :hypo: After the first one it's not that bad. At least you didn't have a hydroscopy and whatever else they did. That where they go in through the front end with a camera and water jet. Take a Bic pen and put in down your pee-hole while you're awake. Yeah, not good times. Very, very bad times.

See, not so bad. :)


Had that day befor yesterday, I saware it got so small the nurse had to clean it with just two fingers while geting started . Agreeded BAD TIMES ,LOL

[Alex]

umm i'm MOST DEFINITELY in the wrong thread

[Walt Cronkite]

Saw this from the weird searches article.

Note to self: Stop aging.

[bing!]

^ and thank you for reminding me of this thread. :ranting: