Originally Posted by
Black
Okay turd buglers, here's why I'm going to grace you with my presence in this league of yours. I'm tall. Real tall. In fact, I would go as far as guaranteeing that I'm the tallest person on this whole entire message board. That's right, I'm taller than all nineteen of you girly men. As a tall person with limited athletic ability, I have to deal with daily barrages of questions about my height, and if I play basketball. When I was in high school, it was fine, because I did. When you're 6'8'', playing in bumfuck Tennessee, you can be a solid player based on size alone. Of course in college, my lack of skill caught up to me, and I called it a career. Now I'm 27, and while I'm no longer the superstar I was in my heyday, and the questions persist. "How tall are you? Damn, do you play ball? If I was you're height I would have been a pro!"
Listen up numbnuts, NO YOU WOULDN'T. Of course, I'm a nice guy, so I entertain the questions with a smile. "Yeah, that's cool, haha." Meanwhile in my head, I don't want to talk to you, I just want you to give me my goddamn #5 twelve pack combo from Chick-Fil-A, and for you to wish me a blessed day so I can drown my sorrows of not making it to the Association in waffle fries and Polynesian sauce.
The only solace I have to relive my glory days is to crush pussys like you in fantasy sports. So know this: I'll join your league, but know that admitting me, you are at the same time admitting defeat a month before the season even starts.
You've been warned.
Team name: Kemba Waffle Fries