BCP - Help Center

[Toocool]

After this tragic season, and with our tragic history, this place, my home, your home, is starting to get a little blue and downright depressing. This season in particularly has made many of contemplate giving up, or surrendering, of never thinking of the Bobcats again. However, I will save you.

So come to Dr Phi...Dr TooCool (or you can call me Dr. TC) with all of your many problems and feel free to vent, cry, talk about your struggles, talk about why TT is so skinny and crap, or why Maggette has the name Bad Porn,from family issues and with me making two hundred dollars per diagnosis, we can make the world a better place, and make you a happy person. Not to mention making my bank account slightly fatter.

We are on the bottom of the ladder. There is literally no where else to go except up. Have faith, be strong. Take a step forward, come, lets talk about it.
If you question my qualifications, I am Australian. Anyone can be a Doctor down here.

So go, fire away with your concerns and I will help ease your mind.

[Plowright]

TC, i found myself turning off from a few games down the stretch of the year. I could not help but feel guilty, it hurt so much to see us play such depressingly bad basketball I couldn't help it. Am I less of a fan now?

[ziggy]

Dr. Cool,

Everytime I see Gana Diop's uselessness run up and down the court I get a burning sensation in my ass. What medications would you recommend to cure me of this affliction?

[Toocool]

TC, i found myself turning off from a few games down the stretch of the year. I could not help but feel guilty, it hurt so much to see us play such depressingly bad basketball I couldn't help it. Am I less of a fan now?

To Mr Plowman.

Indeed, it is a tough situation the Bobcats are in. Even the good doctor yours truely has had trouble watching games until the end. The best thing I can recommend for you is to have a stress ball in your hand watching the Bobcats games, perhaps even two. I would also suggest finding a hot woman so if you do get really angry and turn green due to rage, she will most certainly be able to calm you down.

Again, sometimes you feel nothing but sadness at the state of our Bobcats. I recommend a box of tissues nearby to help cope with the sadness, or even a pillow. I would like to remind you that we have a bald asian in charge at the General Manager spot, and as we all know Asians know their bull's faeces.

No doubt by turning off the games it is psychologically traumatising for you, do not worry though. You are not alone in this matter, that guilt you feel is the pent up desire and wishes and dreams for the Bobcats to do well. Release it in some way, perhaps in song or posting on Bobcats Forums more.

I hope I have helped, and may you carry on in your path to enlightenment.

Yours
Dr. TC

[Toocool]

Dr. Cool,

Everytime I see Gana Diop's uselessness run up and down the court I get a burning sensation in my ass. What medications would you recommend to cure me of this affliction?

To Mr Ziggy

I believe that is your brain telling you to get off your chair and excercise. After all, none of us would like to be in the position of that overpaid fat benchwarmer that everyone makes fun of. I would also suggest mentally blocking Diop from sight through sheer willpower. It may seem odd having only 4 players on the court, but Kobe Bryant, one of my other clients I taught when he plays to only see 5 players on the court, to see only the opposition and no teammates. Russell Westbrook has also recently come to me for help, he's shown remarkable progress these past two years with my help. Should you lack the mental capacity to block Diop's scientifically-impossible fat bottom from sight, I suggest to turn off the game until he checks out 2 minutes later with 5 fouls.


Yours
Dr. TC

[ND22]

Dr. Cool,

How should I cope when the Bobcats don't get the 1st pick?

[ziggy]

Dr. Cool,

What sort of dietary plan would you recommend for Tyrus Thomas in order to get him over 140 pounds for next season?

[Toocool]

Dr. Cool,

How should I cope when the Bobcats don't get the 1st pick?

To Mr ND

I believe that you should not get your hopes up for the Bobcats getting the #1 pick. By having no expectations to get the first pick, and having that mentality in general means that you'll never be disappointed. Should you not be able to use that mentality, I suggest finding a nice soft fluffy pillow/s and crying into it. I hope this helps.

Yours
Dr. TC

[Toocool]

Dr. Cool,

What sort of dietary plan would you recommend for Tyrus Thomas in order to get him over 140 pounds for next season?

To Mr Ziggy

I would suggest locking Tyrus up for three months and feed him nothing but Bojangles chicken, and then for him to do heavy weights program to bulk up. Use of the badass Oakley would also work well as a mentor to watch over as Tyrus fattens up. Ensure that Tyrus eats five big meals a day, and he will be over 140 pounds, no problem.

Yours
Dr. TC

[SWedd523]

Jack and Coke

or

Jack and Pepsi