As some of you may know, I’m a big fan of Bobcat’s General Manager, Richard Cho aka The Chosen One. Now, ever since he joined the team, I’ve been studying his moves, and well, I’ve discovered that Frosty the Cho Man sticks to a pretty predictable pattern. Because of this, it’s easy for me to let you all know what’s gonna happen this summer. Unfortunately, I can’t be too specific, because who the fuck knows how the Holy Chomen Emperor pulls off some of these moves, but he does, and while we’ll all be impressed when they happen, I’m gonna make them a little less surprising for the folks over here at Bobcat’s Planet.
Now the first thing you need to know about Judge Cho Brown is that the summertime is Cho time. Yeah, he tinkers around a little bit during the regular season, but when summer rolls around, that’s when Adrien Chody goes to work. Ever since he got here, he’s been bringing in at least one draft pick a summer, as the team has steadily devolved from Stack Jax to MeggetteO’s to Ben “Brick Hands” Gordon. So I think it’s safe to say Gordon will be dealt for a draft pick and the team will get someone who is somehow worse.
I don’t know why but Cho the Plumber has a thing for big goofy white dudes (or black dudes who kinda look white, stick with me here). Right off the bat, we saw him bring in Mullens, but we’ve also gotten McRoberts and been linked to getting Kris Humphries, Brook Lopez, and who knows who else. This probably has to do with when Shoeless Cho Jackson was in OKC and watching Nick Collison. While Mullens and McBob might both walk, don’t be surprised when we add another whitey to the fold.
This one is pretty obvious. Every year Choseidon takes one national champion (Kemba, MKG) - this is known as the Felton-Okafor corollary, btw - and one foreign dude (Biz, Jeff Taylor). This year, Chobi-Wan might have to switch it up, but don’t be surprised if we end up with Gorgui Deng, who is both foreign and a national champion. Also, don’t be surprised to see Vincent van Cho go with a white dude in the draft (Alex Len, Cody Zeller, Olynk, Stevey Adams, etc) and add a past national champion through a trade or free agency.
Anyways, these aren’t exactly rules as much as guidelines, but I figured I should let some of y’all know. As these moves unfold I’ll be sure to point out how they fit within this framework. All in all it should be a fun summer and I’m excited to see what Flannery Cho Conner has up his sleeves.