The "Ask Ziggy" Thread

[ziggy]

OK, hit me with your most troubling, strangest or most bizarre questions, and I in return will give you your much needed answer (or at least some entertaining BS)

Ask away!

[ALong13]

Let's see how he answers this question...it's a question asked by many men, in many different places, and is one of the hardest questions, and no one knows the true answer, so Mr. Ziggy maybe your knowledgeable self has the answer...


Why is it called a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich, and not a Jelly and Peanut Butter sandwich? Is Peanut Butter the more important thing, or did the inventor not want to go by abc order? This question has really stressed me out as of late, and I'm hoping you may have the one true answer...

[spectre]

Uncle Ziggy...why in the hell did we sign Piggy to a 2 year deal??

[ziggy]

Let's see how he answers this question...it's a question asked by many men, in many different places, and is one of the hardest questions, and no one knows the true answer, so Mr. Ziggy maybe your knowledgeable self has the answer...


Why is it called a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich, and not a Jelly and Peanut Butter sandwich? Is Peanut Butter the more important thing, or did the inventor not want to go by abc order? This question has really stressed me out as of late, and I'm hoping you may have the one true answer...

That sir is a very good question which has troubled mankind ever since George Washington Carver decided to hook his sandwich up with a little bit of grape jelly.
The reason that it is called a PB&J instead of its variant J&PB is because of the structural integrity of Peanut Butter. Since Peanut Butter is far more architecturally stable it is able to absorb the additional weight of the jelly evenly without causing sandwich failure. If you apply the jelly first then add something with the relative density of peanut butter on top it, then gentlemen you would have a certain recipe for sandwich collapse.

[ziggy]

Uncle Ziggy...why in the hell did we sign Piggy to a 2 year deal??

Your answer is... The Jherri Curl.

Unbeknownst to many people, In Bernie's early days of coaching, he had a hard time making ends meet so he used to make a few bucks on the side being a background singer for the musical group Ready for the World. Back in those days in order to be in a band you had to have a Jherri curl... It was the law back then. Being the competitor that Bernie is, He decided to have the biggest, juiciest Jherri curl in the band. Unfortunately because of the excessive grease that was inevitble with that hairstyle it was only a matter of time before there was a grease fire which destroyed 99% of the remnants of that band's history.
The remaining 1% landed in the hands of Piggie. Needless to say, Bernie is willing to pay whatever it takes to keep those Jherri curl pictures from ever seeing the light of day.

[spectre]

Hmmm, the Jherri Curl eh?

I bet that explains a lot more than Piggy's 2 years.

Heh Zig...you're good dude!

[Muttley]

This is possibly the best idea for a thread ever.

My question to you, oh wiseone, is why didn't you think of this sooner?

[dav7z]

Explain this Master Ziggy....
Tell me why Pluto, who is a dog, lives in a dog house, eats dog food, can't talk, walk on two feet and can't drive, while Goofy who is also a dog, lives in a regular house, drives a car and wears clothes.

Tell me why Donald Duck wears a hat and shirt but no pants but when he takes a bath wears a towel around his waist with no shirt or hat?

Some dogs are brown; Spot is a dog; True or False - Spot is brown.

[ziggy]

This is possibly the best idea for a thread ever.

My question to you, oh wiseone, is why didn't you think of this sooner?

Why didn't I think of this before

The answer is, I actually did... However up until today the powers that be wouldn't allow me to release the awesomeness of this thread upon the free world.

[dav7z]

If a plane crashed on the NC/SC line, where would they bury the survivors?